Our unconscious mind is constantly influencing everything we do - from the choices we make, the way we feel, and the meaning we assign to different events. Last week in the same day I was aware of two instances where my unconscious mind was shaping my life behind the scenes, one good and one not so good. I'd like to share both.

First, the not so good. Every day as part of my daily goal setting system I outline my goal for the day. It’s important to me that I do it because it’s one of the criteria I use to see if I “win the day”.

Explicitly written, the goal was to record two videos. But once I recorded the first, and it took longer than it should... And it wore me out more than I expected... I started to challenge my commitment to record the second. Thoughts like “It’s not as important as the first” and “They’re both similar enough, maybe I just use the first video for the same purposes as the second”.

My mind was trying to logically convince me to not do what I committed to, and in the moment it was compelling. But I knew in reflection I’d have a different opinion, so I chose to suck it up and do it anyway. I’m glad I did.

The other, empowering example happened when I was on a run. It was the same route I normally go on but as I reached a certain part of it, the road was closed because of construction. I run in a neighborhood so there weren’t that many other places to go.

I checked my timer and I had another 2 minutes to go before turning around and heading back. The first thought that came into my mind was “It’s only a few minutes, you can turn around early” but then my mind overruled it and said “No you committed to this full workout so you’re going to do this full workout.”

It took no effort on my part to convince myself to do a loop in a cul de sac and head back down a hill, only to retrace my steps once I hit the halfway point and began my way back. In this case my mindset prevented me from considering anything less than what I was expecting, even when unexpected circumstances came up.

The lesson in both of these stories is the same - Your thoughts need to be questioned. The unconscious mind influences your rational thinking in ways that you aren’t aware of, leading you to draw conclusions you otherwise wouldn’t have. Sometimes it’s helpful, sometimes it’s not, but every time it’s there.

One of the most popular ways for businesses to align on their priorities and measure their performance is by establishing objectives and key results. Although the theory was initially created by a man named Andy Grove, it was one of his pupils John Doerr who really used these ideas to help companies like Google, leaders like Bono, and nonprofits like The Bill And Melinda Gates Foundation to succeed at the highest levels.

Objectives and key results serve as a roadmap to success. They are a mechanism to give you specific orders around what you want to achieve (objective) and what needs to happen to achieve it (key results). 

Going one layer deeper, objectives are more of an aspirational intention. They’re the mission at hand, the change you want to see in the world, that serves as a motivating rally cry for those who are working toward it. The key results are the specific, measurable milestones where you believe that in successfully hitting them, you fulfill the objective. 

The value to outlining it this way is that you get to define the game you’re playing. You get to make the rules and determine what success looks like.

An example used in John Doerr’s book “Measure What Matters” - If The Bill And Melinda Gates Foundations wants to reduce childhood mortality in developing countries (objective), then they need to Increase vaccination coverage from 80% to 90% in target regions, decrease the incidence of malaria by 30% in the next two years, and provide clean drinking water to 5 million more people (key results).

This mirrors the framework I learned from Jim Bunch that I like to use called “Goals, Strategies, and Tactics”. The goal is the overarching inspiring objective and the strategies are the key results. 

Now what’s important to mention is how in both cases, the strategy and key results are meant to orient your actions. It becomes a filter for you to pick the tactics that you think will most likely produce the key results you’re after. It keeps you focused on doing what will actually move the needle in making progress toward the change you want to see in the world.

That’s why you put all of this extra work in beforehand, it streamlines efficiency for everything else that’s to come. It’s taking carefully aligned action that really moves the world forward.

You’ve probably heard the expression “the fastest way to get what you want is to give it away first.”  This happens because of the ‘Law of Reciprocity’ which Robert Cialdini says is a primary principle of influence where we feel inclined to provide for those who have provided for us to create a mutual exchange. 

I had an experience this past weekend that confirmed this for me completely. I ran a Spartan Race, which was a 10k trail with 28 obstacles in between including sandbag carries, all sorts of swinging bars, tall nets, steep walls, and barbed wire crawls among other things.

Most people take on the race in groups but I signed up and showed up by myself.  I had a few interactions with people before the race, but largely I took on the course by myself. I knew that as I got tired and the obstacles got harder I would need support, and since I didn’t have a support system I decided I’d create one. And the way I did that was by having an intentional strategy to use the law of reciprocity in my favor.

Here’s how it went: As I passed people or they passed me, more often than not I would celebrate them with an enthusiastic and genuine “Great job!” More often than not, I would get a response back that was something like “Thanks! You’re doing great too!” 

Even though it was preempted, each time I got a small encouragement from other racers it gave me energy. It felt like a slight breeze on my back pushing me forward. Especially if I was passing them, I had more motivation to push myself and prove them right.

This is the law of reciprocity to a tee - The more you give something, the more likely you are to receive. If I introduce myself as Brian Ford, you’ll introduce yourself with your first and last name. If I ask you how I can support you, or make an introduction for you, you’ll ask about how you can support me and seek to make an introduction for me.  

In business there are networking groups that thrive on this concept. Generosity inspires generosity. You get out what you put in, and the more ways you find to offer value upfront the more rewarded with value you’ll be in the end.

I was on a call with Mark Kosoglow last week and we went down a psychology rabbit hole, talking about Nobel Prize winner Daniel Kehneman’s book “Thinking, Fast And Slow”. It reminded me how important it is that we understand that mind’s natural processes, both within ourselves and in working with others, to be as effective as possible.

“Thinking Fast” refers to the most primitive elements of our brain. He calls it System 1 Thinking that is reflexive and hyperattentive. This is the part of the brain designed to keep us alive and alert to any potential threats around us. While it’s effective at making split-second decisions, it’s also very vulnerable to bias and mistakes because it acts so fast and only uses the inputs of the present moment

“Thinking Slow” refers to the more advanced, developed, higher-level thinking we engage in on a daily basis. This is the thinking of the voice that’s in our head which is deliberate and thoughtful. But, it’s energy intensive and cannot be relied on for everything because there’s too much to process, so typical we reserve System 2 Thinking for complex problem solving, planning, and creativity.

Funny enough, I was given a perfect example to demonstrate the difference between the two immediately after getting off the call with Mark. I had some trash to throw out and unconsciously, thinking fast, I opened the cabinet where we keep our trash can. But it wasn’t there. 

Since something unexpected the unconscious pattern, I engaged in System 2 thinking, which went “Well if the trash can isn’t there, where would it be?” I remembered that I had pulled it out during our decluttering the night before and it as in the other room.

This happened a second, and a third time - Unconsciously opening the cabinet, remembering the trash had moved, and going into the other room to throw the trash out.

Our System 1, “Fast Thinking” is constantly on and running our lives without us realizing it. From the choices we make to the emotions we feel, we’re constantly reflexing to the stimuli around us.

But when we slow down to be more conscious of what’s happening and be more thoughtful of what we want, we initiate System 2 “Slow Thinking” and live more intentionally.

There’s a fascinating but unsurprising psychological principle called “The Audience Effect”. Basically, when you’re being watched by someone else, your performance improves. The Audience Effect is a derivative of “The Hawthorne Effect” which states that performance improves simply by being observed.

But there’s extra power in play when someone else is observing you, and it ties into our hardwired social dynamics. Evolutionarily it serves humans to impress others. When we do it means that others are more likely to place higher value in us, and when that happens it gives us higher placement in the social hierarchy and offers more support for our survival.

This is why we’re ‘on our best behavior’ when we’re around others. We’re more likely to put the shopping cart in the receptacle, choose salad over fries, and be more enthusiastic in conversations with people we want to like us.

I can certainly speak first-hand to how I’m impacted by this. Given that I talk about personal development every day and lead a community of people wanting to be the best version of themselves, I’m constantly held accountable to practicing what I preach. I hold myself to a higher standard because other people are watching what I do. And it helps me to be a better person.

It’s very simple to leverage The Audience Effect for yourself. All you have to do is tell people to start watching and create an expectation to maintain. Tell people you’re going to exercise 3x a week. Tell people you’re going to spend an hour making sales calls a day. Tell people you’re committed to giving 10% of your income to charity.

The Audience Effect improves your performance passively, but it becomes an active tool when you convert it into accountability. A lot of people are resistant to accountability. They don’t want to put themselves on the line for something that they care about or that’s important to them.

To that I’d say, maybe there’s something else that’s unconsciously more important to you that you aren’t aware of. It’s called a ‘competing commitment’. Something else may be driving your decision making in ways you didn’t know. But with awareness, and courage, you can consciously choose what you want to be most important to you.

Engage others in your success and your success will boom. I promise you that.

If you want to be more accountable and follow through fearlessly on the vision that you have for yourself, check this out!

Last week I connected with someone who is becoming a fast friend named Floyd Jones doing phenomenal things in the social impact space. After taking time to share our missions with each other, I offered to support on a specific project that aligns closely with what I do.

When I expressed my interest to get involved, Floyd responded without missing a beat and with a perfectly delivered line. He said “Look before you jump, Brian.”

It resonated on so many levels.

The immediate meaning I took from it is about being thoughtful with what you commit to. It’s a reminder to really know what you’re getting yourself into because getting yourself out of it is harder than getting yourself into it. When you jump, gravity pulls you down. That’s the easy part. But if you want to get back up, you need to climb up against gravity.

The second meaning I took from it after reflecting on the conversation was more insightful. It assumes that you’re jumping, no matter what you see. “Looking before you jump” is a way to prepare yourself for what’s to come. It helps you to orient yourself about where to get started and set yourself up to be as successful as possible with the endeavor.

And the last part that resonates with me is simply having the courage to jump. There’s risk involved. You can roll your ankle on the landing. But anyone who, as Teddy Roosevelt and Brene Brown put it, “Dares greatly” puts themselves in a compromising situation. But it’s the only place where truly innovative and magnificent contributions can come from. So even if you’re scared of heights, those who accomplish great things jump anyway.

It’s true for all of the leaders we admire and the everyday people who take a chance on themselves. And it’s the surest approach we have to minimizing the regret we have in our life. Doing things the same way is the status quo. Jumping in is not. 

If there’s something on your heart that you’ve wanted to focus on more, commit to, or try, and your own rationalizations are keeping you stuck where you are, be intentional and “look before you jump.”

And when you’re ready, make the leap.