Two times last week I noticed myself getting frustrated over the same thing. I was taking calls with people offering my support with the intention to be helpful. These were calls I didn’t need to accommodate... And was doing it as a favor and benefit for the other person. In both cases, two different people showed up to the call with poor cell service while taking the call on-the-go in their car.

Initially I felt like my time was being disrespected. I dedicated a portion of my day to support them and they didn’t have the decency to plan well enough to make the most of the time on their end. 

Fortunately, the frustration didn’t last long. Instead of carrying this negative energy into the conversation, I accepted the conditions and chose to be of service and generously share whatever I could. And I’m so glad I did. In both cases, these individuals gave deeply personal, vulnerable updates on their life situations that more than explained why they had to take the call from their car.

It was a reminder to hold back your initial judgment. Our engrained response-system acts virtually instantaneously. Daniel Kahneman calls it “fast-thinking” where we immediately process any stimulus we’re faced with, seek to understand what it means, and produce a response to it. It’s hardwired into our evolution because In threatening situations, the difference between life and death is our ability to act fast.

One of the main factors that goes into our “fast thinking” is our ego. It’s part of what’s ingrained in us to achieve self-preservation. But our ego often influences us to respond in ways we don’t want to because it gets easily agitated by the actions of other people. In an effort to maintain our own self-image, it finds fault in others to make us feel better about ourselves.

That’s exactly what my ego did in this situation. It immediately caused me to feel offended by their choices, attacked by their rudeness, and wanting to belittle their character. It all happened unconsciously, and I’m grateful that I’ve done enough inner work to quickly identify what happened and consciously choose a different response that aligns with the person I want to be.

It’s easier said than done, but try to hold back your initial judgment because it’s often being fueled by your ego. Give yourself time to process what’s happening and determine how you want to show up versus how your mind is telling you to. I’ve found that meditation has been a really helpful tool for quieting the impulses of the ego so that you can select a more thoughtful response. That, and reflecting on moments where you feel triggered to create an awareness of the conditions around it, so that you’re more likely to recognize those conditions the next time you’re in them.

Author of “The 5 Types of Wealth”, Sahil Bloom introduced a really helpful framework related to being consistent. When we think of building good habits, we naturally believe that we need to be really consistent with doing a specific thing. But sometimes and under some conditions, it’s really difficult to take action to the extent that would keep you consistent with a commitment. 

We all encounter days where we don’t have the time, energy, capacity, or ability to follow through with our intentions. And when that happens, the alternative choice is that we break our streak and lose our consistency.

But that doesn’t represent our options fairly. Sure, it’s ideal to follow through fully, but on the days when you can’t take full action, you can still do something. Something is better than nothing, right? And Sahil argues that executing a Plan B, or Plan C, is extremely meaningful in maintaining momentum.

So for any habit you want to implement, Sahil recommends that you build out three variations of it: A, B, and C. He calls them ABC Goals and Habits. Here’s what they are, and some examples.

‘A’ is the version that is ideal and you strive to do on a daily basis. That’s spending an hour a day marketing and prospecting for your business.

‘B’ is a managed approach where you still take a significant amount of action, but it’s not the full amount. This is following up with all the leads who have gotten back to you and are awaiting a response, which might take 10 or 20 minutes.

‘C’ is just enough to get the smallest rep in, that’s a meaningful amount in reinforcing the original intention. This is sending one message out in whatever capacity that is relevant to your marketing activity, and it could happen in 30 seconds.

In the name of consistency: Plan A is what you’re building toward, Plan B is meaningful action, and Plan C is enough to not completely break your rhythm.

Sahil argues you can do the same for the goals that you set: One best case achievement, one middle-ground indicator of progress, and one that minimally completes the commitment.

The real insight embedded in all of this is that we need to accept partial action as significant, and we can’t let ourselves off the hook on the days when we can’t take action in full. In fact, it’s on these off days that your character gets to shine through, and real momentum gets built. 

Today’s thought was inspired by a comment Darren Hardy makes at the end of his book “The Compound Effect”.

“Whatever I want in life, I found the best way to get it is to focus my energy on giving it to others. The ‘ripple effect’ of giving generously of your time and energy is that you become the biggest beneficiary of your personal philanthropy.”

It’s not that you “give to get”, but you give knowing that you get a lot in return, in unexpected ways, when you do. And that serves to provide you with more influence, resources, capacity, and experience that will help you in giving generously again and again.

One of the most abundant and generous people I know is my mentor David Meltzer, and he considers himself to be a conduit that value flows through. He has a spiritual approach to the goodness in his life, and feels as though the universe trusts him to facilitate the flow that needs to touch others. It’s an energy I do my best to embody myself.

And the beautiful part is, we have so much to give, no matter who you are. Standardly we default to thinking that the most valuable things to give are your money and time, but there are so many more nuanced things that we have to offer:

We can give our attention to help someone feel seen, heard, appreciated, and valued.

We can give people our networks and connections, helping them forge collaborations that are valuable to them.

We can give love, energy, enthusiasm, and hope to help inspire others who are feeling down, and infuse belief in those who are short of it.

We can give patience and presence for those who are too caught up in their lives to see the big picture.

For a lot of the things that we have to offer, there’s no cost to sharing it. We just need to be willing to show up with that spirit, and to embody the courage required to be a positive influence in the world. That’s what our self-improvement work helps us to do, and that’s what helps us contribute more to the flow that circles back around and returns to us.

Seek to be more helpful. Seek to be more useful. And seek to give more generously, because it’s the currency that helps us all have more than enough. 

A methodology I’ve found to be really effective and applicable in creating improvement is ‘constraint theory’. It’s the idea that everything expands, flows, and produces without restriction until it meets its first limitation. That limitation is the constraint.

Think of it like a hose where the water valve is turned all the way on. Under normal conditions, the water will naturally flow with full water pressure. But if there are kinks or blockages in the hose, it will impact the water pressure that comes out the end, so much so that it might not flow any water at all.

It’s more abstract, but when something isn’t working in your life how you want it to, it’s often because you’ve run up against a constraint.

Good intentions to eat healthy, exercise consistently, get focused work done, follow through on marketing tactics, and spend quality time with your family perform to their first constraint. When you analyze things and identify what’s keeping you from achieving a desired result or taking a specific action, you can trace it back to the obstacle that’s getting in the way. The kink in the hose.

It’s wanting to eat healthy, but you didn’t have a healthy option at home. The constraint is the food that’s available. 

It’s having the intention to make sales calls, but you ran out of time. The constraint is that you didn’t carve out the hour to do it, or that you got distracted during that hour and deprioritized doing it.

Just about everything is vulnerable to constraints because everything operates off of the simple, universal principle of ‘cause and effect’. Things don’t just happen at random, they’re the byproduct of the conditions and design around it. When you change the design and undo a constraint, you unlock the next tier of result, which produces to the extent of the next constraint which then serves as the limiting factor.

Knowing that my own self-growth is limited by my own personal constraints, I am constantly seeking to understand what’s getting in the way of the abundance and flow I want. One of the things I want most right now is more business partnerships, and the constraint is creating more time to do more outreach and connect on calls. So I’m being really intentional about auditing what’s taking up my time, understanding the commitments on my plate, and taking action to free myself up to better prioritize partnerships.

In today’s world, there are 3 constraints that I see come up over and over again: Time (not having the capacity to do more), clarity (not knowing exactly what to do or what will work), and discipline (not bringing yourself to do the thing you’ve committed to).

If you want to chat with me to uncover the biggest constraints in your life, which are keeping you from the results you know you’re capable of and deserve, then book a time here, I'd love to connect!

The gift and curse about personal development is that the work is never done. There’s always more to explore within yourself, things to be more intentional about, areas for improvement, and opportunities for growth. 

And since there’s no specific endpoint to achieve, it can often be overwhelming to figure out what to focus on next. There are unlimited options... So the task is to narrow it down to just the things that you think will be most impactful for your personally and professionally.

Trying to figure that out for myself, I asked myself a question that I found was really helpful in knowing what to focus on in my self-growth next:

What do I see other people do exceptionally well that I’d pay $10,000 to do well myself?

If there’s something you respect or admire about someone else, it’s likely because you value that thing. And if you’d put money down to be more like that, it means that you know there’s a gap between where you are and where you want to be.

I'll put more thought and time into it soon, but this is the main thing came up for me as I sought to answer that question for myself:

I want to have more clarity on what I want to create in the world. I have big ambitions to do something massively impactful, and lots of ideas around what that could look like, but ultimately I want to sharpen my vision so that I can be laser-focused on what everything is building toward, and what steps I need to take systematically to get there. 

As a layer of complexity, I don’t want to pursue that vision at all costs. I want to build the roadmap with a healthy, connected, joyful lifestyle being taken into consideration. A life that includes, trips, family visits, a social life, fitness competitions, and other things that I enjoy. It’s something I’m watching Rob Dyrdek accomplish, and while I’m not prepared to do it at his level, it’s something I want to make progress toward. 

The interesting thing about answering this question is it can go in two directions. It can highlight goals and results you want to prioritize over others, or bring forward the skills and habits you want to develop. Either way, it takes the sea of everything and begins to narrow it into what you see as most impactful for you.

Here it is again: What do I see other people do exceptionally well that I’d pay $10,000 to do well myself?

Take some time to answer it for yourself!

And when it's time to figure out what to do about it, this is your first step.

One of the most important decisions we make in our lives is what we choose to do professionally. As we seek to live out our best life, a major portion of it involves finding something meaningful to do in our work.

But that’s not to say that you need to change lives or solve world problems to find fulfillment in life. Enjoying what we do is more about our relationship to our work than it is the work itself.

A man who helps kids cross the street after school can find more fulfillment in their work than the founder of a nonprofit. A mid-level employee can be more happy about their work than the CEO. And it goes even bigger - with the social impact work I do in Mexico, I notice that families who have so little feel like they have so much more than we do (as the group that has come to serve them).

And that’s because enjoying what you do is all about the spirit with which you do it, not what it is you do itself.

When unchecked, it can lead to a recurring problem. People who are unhappy, unchallenged, and uninspired by their work may seek employment somewhere else. Sure, the work itself might not have been a good match for that that individual… But very often when the novelty of a new job fades, they go back to feeling the same way about their work even though they’re in a new role.

There’s an expression that reads “Wherever you go, there you are” and it’s a comment on being present. But in this context, it also speaks to our relationship with where we find ourselves in life. We cannot separate our own perspective from our perception of things. We are always seeing what’s happening around us through a certain lens. And for those who are unhappy with their work, they see every job they’re in through this same lens.

The fastest way to build a more positive relationship with anything is through gratitude. Writing down what you’re grateful for literally trains your mind to see the world through a more positive lens. And my encouragement to anyone, whether you’re happy in your work or not, is to get into a gratitude practice because it makes that much of a difference.

In summary, enjoying what you do, wherever you go, is more about the spirit you do it with. So rather than thinking that there’s something wrong with where you are, try improving the way you relate with where you are. Because that positivity is something you take with you everywhere you go.

If you want to get into a gratitude habit but in general struggle to stay consistent with anything, and need help being more structured in the way you take on new habits, I’ve put together the 21 Day Super Habits Challenge to help you transform your consistency and self-discipline.

More than ever, people need to find ways to be more productive. I’m sure you can relate - For whatever reason, life is busier, you have more responsibilities, and there’s more on your plate that is stretching you even thinner.

The frustrating part is, even when you have don’t have any time to waste and every reason to get a lot done, you still find yourself unfocused, unmotivated, and unable to bring yourself to actually doing what you know you need to do. And even on the days when you do apply yourself, you still still feel like you didn’t get anything meaningful done. 

If that’s the case, here are the 3 most common reasons ambitious and inspired people struggle to be truly productive:

1. Low Energy Levels Deflates Everything. Productivity isn’t just about how much you get done, it’s also how well you do it. In other words, true productivity takes into consideration quantity and quality of action.

The main thing that impacts your willingness to take on difficult tasks, and to do those tasks well, is your energy level. When you feel good you stay more focused, transition faster, and put a better version of yourself into the time that you have. This causes more things to get done, faster, and with higher quality.

2. Not Having Clarity Of Action. There’s no shortage of things to do… From the sea of everything, it’s critical to identify what’s most important. While productivity increases when you do more things, faster, and with more quality… That’s only if you’re doing the right things. When you’ve clearly outlined the most impactful things that need to get done above all else, they're way more likely to happen.

3. Constantly Being Interrupted By Distractions. Your attention is precious and in today’s world, everything is trying to get it from you. But the worst of the bunch is technology, particularly our smartphones. As Nir Eyal puts it in his book “Indistractable”, pings, dings and rings dominate our consciousness and hijack our attention. In response to all of these notifications we find ourselves being reactive to what seems urgent all day over being proactive about actually doing what we know is most important.

As you can tell, all of this works together. It’s a formula: Improved energy levels + doing the right things + avoiding distractions = True productivity.

And when you’re truly productive… That’s when you really start to make your mark on the world in the ways you know you’re capable of, which brings with it an incredible amount of inspiration that fuels you to be your best. 

If you’re ready to stop feeling like days are passing without doing anything valuable with it, and instead start making progress with the focus, drive, and pace that generate the results you deserve, without feeling overstretched and overbusy, check out more about the 21 Day Super Habits Challenge. It walks you through how to install a new high-performance, productivity operating system, step-by-step.

Some incredible things have been materializing in my life recently and all of it comes back to one thing: Being helpful. As I look back at how the dots have connected, I can trace it back to specific moments where I went out of my way to help others.

It’s a classic trail of supporting one person here… Which got me an invite there… Which got me in a specific room… Where I met a specific person… Who made an introduction for me… Which opened a new door… And the rest is history.

While I’m thinking a lot about it now, this isn’t new to me. Having an intention to be helpful is something I’ve imperfectly tried to thread into everything I do. It’s an intention to serve others, to be abundant, and go above and beyond to support people in ways that the average person wouldn’t or doesn’t think makes sense.

I’m not sharing this to virtue signal, but to share that there’s something about this that just works. It’s wild to see how things come full circle, and one completely unrelated detail becomes a key piece of what’s to come. Being helpful causes something bigger to happen that’s hard to explain.

I’m also not sharing this to say that you should be helpful just because it benefits you. Even though that’s what happens, it’s not a reason to do it. When you ‘give’ to ‘get’, it has a certain energy to it. It makes you look for ways to cash in on the good karma before it’s had time to take hold. The most powerful ways the universe works is through the unpredicted, unexpected channels it opens up for you on your behalf.

That’s why it’s not enough to just be helpful. You also must have faith. Faith that “what goes around, comes around”. Faith that the fastest path to making your dreams come true is by making other people’s dreams come true. Faith that doing the right thing is always the right thing, and that no matter what, you’ll always be taken care of. 

That’s the spirit of true, genuine generosity. That’s what makes you abundant. And that’s what makes you a magnet for value in the world, because the universe trusts you to steward the goodness it has to offer as it flows through you in the right direction. 

I’m committed to finding more ways to be helpful, be of service, and stop getting in the way of the bigger plan that the universe has in store for me. 

Again I don’t do it perfectly. I have my faults, my mistakes, my ego, and my moments of scarcity. But the more I override that and give, the more fulfillment and purpose I’m given.

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