One of the biggest stressors and complaints about life is the uncertainty of it. The human mind has evolved to view uncertainty as a threat and something to be avoided. But the truth of it is, life wouldn’t be as fun or interesting if everything was known and predetermined. It’s the novelty of our experience that gives life so much meaning. And importantly, on the other side of uncertainty is the ability to create. Our choices and actions shape our future, and our story is yet to be written. 

Our life trajectory becomes determined by two things: What we create and what’s created around us.

Many of us sit in the passenger seat and let society and other people set the direction. This is a life by default. But all of us are capable of taking the wheel and controlling our destiny. This is a life by design. And living a life by design has some serious implications. It means that what we do today matters, and in extreme cases, that what happens in a moment can forever alter the course of your life.

This becomes more obvious on the negative side of life change. One moment of being unfaithful to a spouse, stealing from a store, screaming at your boss, or getting too drunk at a party can permanently shift your life trajectory. Certain things can happen that cause life to never be the same, and in some cases, the wrong action can ruin your life. 

But on the positive side, it’s equally possible to positively shift the course of your life in a moment. People can make a phone call to get help about a substance abuse issue. People can put in their 2 week notice and officially begin being in business for themselves. People can apologize for a wrongdoing and start to rebuild a relationship. 

My friend Timmy Bishop has an expression that goes “Today could be the day! For what? You get to find out, that’s the best part!” I love it! Every day is a fresh opportunity to create more of what we want out of life. It’s just up to us to summon the courage to pursue it. 

Life is uncertain, but it’s also dynamic. It all can change in a moment. And when you realize how you can guide the direction of that change, you tap into your unlimited potential. That’s living by your design. And that’s what I want for you. Of course everyone is different, but If you want that for yourself, then description I’ll show you how I make the most out of life and it'll give you a great place to start!

Plain and simple, there’s no replacement for taking action. It’s only by taking action that you manipulate your environment so that you can generate new results.

But in order to achieve a certain outcome, taking action isn’t enough. You need to take the right actions, and that’s where I want to introduce you to a larger framework:

Goals, strategies, and tactics.

When my mentor Jim Bunch broke this down for me, it completely changed my life. For years I was busy taking action but I wasn’t getting anywhere with it, spinning my wheels knowing I was capable of more than I was achieving. That was until I started making an extra effort to connect my actions with a goal. It's this alignment of action that actually contributed to positively changing my life. 

While it is all about action, the framework has to start with the goal (or desired outcome). It’s the inspiring result you want to bring into your reality. Once you’ve outlined that, then you determine the strategy that is most likely to bring you to achieving that outcome, and within that strategy you identify the action steps, or tactics, that help you execute the strategy. 

The impact tactics have on your life are determined by two things: The alignment they have toward your goals, and the clarity you have with what you need to execute. You generate the alignment by starting with the goals and strategies, and you create clarity by getting more detailed about what the actions are themselves:

The first criteria for high-quality tactics are they need to be specific. This means that you need to add more details and measurement around the action so that it cannot be interpreted incorrectly, rationalized, or compromised. The mind wants to take the path of least resistance. If you lack clarity or leave gray area, the mind will unconsciously fill it with excuses. So to be more effective, the action isn't just a commitment to reading more, but reading 10 pages of a nonfiction book. It’s not setting the intention to work out more, but doing 3 sets of your full body circuit. More specificity leads to more clarity.  

Specificity also requires that you’re clear on the frequency with which you do it. This helps you determine how often you’re going to be taking action and with what consistency. It’s not enough to do things once and expect a result, they need to be done repeatedly. This expands the action to reading 10 pages of a nonfiction book every day before bed, or  doing 3 sets of your full body circuit 5 times a week. It comes together to make up what you do.

What’s more important though is how you do it. It’s not enough to just say you’re committed and leave it at that. In order for tactics to work for you, you need to take reliable action. And that’s where the extra effort of putting together an action plan helps you to actually follow through on it.

You get clear on when you’re going to take action, and what will prompt or remind you to do it. You also find ways to optimize the systems around the action so that your environment supports you to follow through on the tactics. Like making your bed and putting your book on your pillow, or having a reading club you’re a part of that consistently checks in on your reading progress. Or having a specific exercise program written out, by you or by a coach, and making that program easily accessible on your phone.. And communicating with your partner that you have an intention to get to the gym and you want them to respect that.

Not all actions are made the same. When you reverse engineer them from goals and strategies (making them tactics), and have specificity and a system of execution behind them, you become much more likely to actually reach your goals!

I heard Pat Flynn say something recently that really resonated with me. He described that there’s two different types of information: ‘Just In Time’ information and ‘Just In Case’ information.

‘Just In Time’ information is something you learn that you can apply immediately to overcome a challenge you’re experiencing right now. It’s the new idea, approach, or perspective that will help you breakthrough whatever it is that’s holding you back. You seek out ‘Just In Time’ information to solve a specific problem. You find the Youtube video, Ted Talk, book, podcast, or leader that is likely to have what you need. And the idea is, once you learn it you can use it and make immediate progress.

‘Just In Case’ information is everything you’re learning that rounds out your knowledge. It’s not perfectly relevant right now, but it's something that might be useful in the future. But the problem is, many people invest so much of their time learning new things and think that it’s going to help them advance in their health, career, and life. But that’s not the case and they’re disappointed when they stay stuck where they’re at even though the feel like they’re putting the work in.

I know this too well. For years I was a ‘Personal Development Junkie’. I could list off life-changing principles, confidently state timeless quotes, and brag about how many books I was reading every year… But my life wasn't changing even close to as fast as it should given how much I knew. It wasn’t until I started applying what I was learning that I started reaching the next level of success, influence, impact, and fulfillment I knew was possible for myself.

And that’s exactly what prioritizing ‘Just In Time’ information is all about. Instead of wasting time learning things that you don’t need yet, you can pour that time into taking action toward the things that will most move the needle right now. Then once you get to that next level and hit your next roadblock, that’s when it’s time to go find the information you need to advance past it. 

A metaphor I like to use that relates to this is that of a car. Typically, when we consume more ‘Just In Case’ information we’re putting fuel in the gas tank. And we need gasd to go, but given how readily accessible information is these days, we all pretty much have a full tank. 

Instead, what we need to do is upgrade the Self Improvement Engine that utilizes the fuel - that’s how we go faster and be better! And when it’s time to refuel the tank, make sure it’s the right type of ‘Just In Time’ information that’s going to be most helpful on the next phase of your journey.

If you need help making that transition, and start doing more with what you know so that you actually implement the changes you need to make that will generate the success you desire, I have a 3 week process that walks you through it.

In her studies and countless conversations with people on their deathbed, palliative care nurse Bronnie Ware found that the greatest regret of the dying is “I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” It’s an insight we need to take seriously because it can help us choose a life that we’re proud of.

But one of the assumptions in this idea is that people know what they want, that they know what an authentic life looks like. But I’m not convinced that’s the case, and that many people are lost trying to figure out who they fundamentally are rather than living in fear of being that person.

That’s why I want to share a more nuanced perspective that also serves as an action plan: Seek your truth and speak your truth.

As individuals and as a society, we are constantly evolving. This means that knowing what we want, and living a fully authentic life is a moving target. This means we must always be seeking our truth through introspection, having others call out our blindspots, changing our environment to observe our patterns, and being the process of learning more about ourselves. The work is never done but that’s the best part! Life would be boring if we had it all figured out.

But that’s not to say that it’s acceptable to delay being yourself until you feel like you know who that is. Living authentically is a practice. And even if you feel like you have an incomplete understanding for who you are, you’re tasked to live in alignment with who you think you are.

And that’s easier said than done. We must fight through a lifetime of conditioning, the judgment and criticism from others, and our own preferences to live authentically. It takes courage to be your most fully-expressed version of yourself, and speak your truth. But when you do, it liberates you and attracts the life you want.

As I reflect on how I initiated positive change in every chapter of my life, it always involved me seeking and speaking my truth. Whether it was going from being an underperforming salesperson into a growth-oriented business professional, or a judgmental boyfriend into a supportive husband, I first needed to become aware of the details of my life that were out of alignment, have the courage to accept those things, and take action toward making them better.

My process for gaining that awareness and holding myself accountable to living more courageously is in my Self Improvement Scorecard. It's responsible for all of the success I've created in my life!

I recently got to see Lewis Howes speak live as a part of his tour to launch his new book “Make Money Easy”, and the core message in his talk was about embracing abundance.

Being abundant is different than being rich. Abundance is an energy that your needs are met and a willingness to contribute to the needs of others. It’s a faith that there’s more than enough for everyone. Being rich is just a financial result.

For the last few years, one of the things I’ve focused most on in my personal development is building my abundance mindset. To give what I can when I feel inspired to and without expectation, to ask for help and receive it without indebtedness, and to be a conduit that helps circulate more goodness in the world. I’ve been intentional about building that mindset by every day in my Self Improvement Scorecard reflecting on one thing that I did to help someone else, and one thing I did to receive help.

But Lewis Howes takes action on abundance a bit differently. He says “Gratitude and generosity are the gateway to abundance.”

Gratitude will change your life. As I understand it right now, there’s nothing that will more radically and positively change your life in 30 days than journaling three things you’re grateful for. It completely shifts the lens through which you see the world. And it connects to abundance because, “what you appreciate, appreciates”. The things you are grateful for multiply in the world. And that’s what abundance is, an energy of more than enough and unlimited access.

Generosity is more along the lines of what I was describing about having a willingness to give what you have freely. And what’s interesting is how generosity interfaces with the world. Materially, the fastest way to get something is to give it away. If you want love, give love. If you want connections, make connections for others. If you want money, give money. Generosity initiates reciprocity and one way or another, what you give returns to you in amplified ways. An online business leader named Pat Flynn was a special guest at this event and he has a life mantra that goes “serve first”. 

But immaterially, generosity offers something far greater. Every time you give, you reenforce the belief that you have what you need. That you are safe and cared for. This is how you cultivate the faith that everything will work out, and when you show up for life with that perspective, it attracts everything you’ll ever need and more.

Gratitude and generosity are the gateway to abundance. And when we talk about wanting bigger, richer, more impactful lives, this is really what we mean. And now you know the pathway!

This past weekend I was out of town visiting my family and something I had always feared happened…

First thing Sunday morning I got out of the house to go for a run, and drove my grandma’s car down the street to go for a run along a nice trail. I was feeling good halfway through the run but then suddenly realized my grandma’s car key fell out of my pocket and it could be anywhere in about a mile long stretch on the trail.

Immediately my mind wanted to freak out… What does this mean? How do I get to a spare? Oh shoot, my wallet is in the car and I need to get on a flight tomorrow! But because of a lot of the mindfulness work I’ve done I was able to control my emotions and be thoughtful about my approach.

I’m really proud of my response. One of the first things that came to mind was to say “Thank you”, and choose to believe that what I was experiencing was meant to happen. It represents an underlying belief I have that I have faith that things will work out how they’re meant to, and it helps me manage adversity. 

From that state of mind I was able to take calculated action, not move too fast, and give myself a chance to find the key. I knew I need to first quantify the task, which  involved scanning the trail a few times, so I took a picture of where I was on the trail so that I knew how far I needed to search. Then I simulated a running motion to figure out the key must’ve only lightly fallen out of my pocket and is likely to be on the edge of the trail.

From there I started retracing my steps carefully scanning each side of the edge of the trail. With a clear mind I could stay focused and not get caught up in distractingly emotional thoughts, and brainstorm some contingency plans if I didn’t find the key. I came up with some good ideas and it further settled my mind so I could apply myself to the task.

I continued searching all the way back to the car and didn’t find the key. I started getting nervous, but before giving up committed to doing one more complete scan up the trail before considering the key lost. Fortunately I found it in plan sight on the side of the trail.

I share this because I approached this micro-adversity from a very logical and stoic perspective, and it maximized my ability to succeed. Emotions have a way of hijacking our rational thinking, and in moments where that’s critical, it’s important to have strategies to keep a level head.

And I’ve learned my lesson and from now on will keep important items in more secure places when I go for a run!

One of the hardest parts about being the best version of ourselves is making consistent good choices. As Darren Hardy says “You make your choices and then your choices make you.” And that’s because choices lead to actions, and actions generate results.

But sometimes, those good choices involve doing things that conflict with the commitments we’ve made, or are outside of our the standards we want to hold ourselves to. Is it reasonable to skip a workout when you’re feeling a little sick? What about if you have a critical project at work? Or if an opportunity pops up that you don’t want to miss?

There’s a lot of grey area… And that’s why I’m making up a word today: “Acception”. An ‘acception’ is an acceptable exception. It’s a choice you make where you’re fully considering the factors at play and decide to skip, reschedule, compromise, or do a smaller version of what you committed to.

It’s a choice to move forward in the direction that deviates from what you would normally want to do, but you feel it is best for you.

It’s an exception that is being made for the right reasons.

And here’s why you need to be really thoughtful when it’s acceptable to make an exception: Our minds are constantly trying to convince us to make exceptions to the rule. That it’s okay to not do this or follow through on that this one time, but those decisions are often motivated by the wrong things and it can become a a slippery slope.

The tricky part about this process is knowing when you mean it. Your mind will give you reasons and excuses, and it might seem like it’s acceptable to make an exception, but is it really? And especially when you’re trying to determine what you authentically think about something in the moment, your rational thinking is being biased by the emotions and context of the here and now, and you can convince yourself that any choice is logical.

That means, the only way to know if something is truly an ‘acception’, an acceptable exception, is upon reflection. When you are removed from the moment of the decision and you reflect on the choice you made, the truth comes out. And it’s the reason why getting feedback and reviewing your performance is so critical. Without taking a pause to think it through, you don’t get any clearer on what your values are, what your tolerances are, what are acceptable exceptions, and it leaves your decision making up to chance.

To get this idea working for you, my recommendation is that you implement your own daily performance tracking system so that you can start seeing the truth of your choices, and tap into your next level of self-discipline as a result.

I hate to break it to you… There’s no such thing as a perfect person. Even the most disciplined person has days and moments where they give into temptation or make a choice that doesn’t fully align with their values. A lot of credit is given to those who stay consistent and committed, and rightfully so. But an equal amount of credit is due to the person who gets knocked off track but can recover quickly. 

Let me explain this using the metaphor of a plane. When a plane takes off it has a destination in mind. The shortest, fastest path to that destination is a straight line. But when in the air, planes face headwinds that push them off path. 

In a first scenario, the headwind hits and the pilot doesn’t do anything about it, so the plane flies two degrees off course. Hours later when it’s time to land the plane is hundreds of miles away from where it should be and needs to make significant corrections to reach its destination.

In a second scenario, the headwind hits and knocks the plane two degrees off course. But this time the pilot notices and adjusts the plane’s direction. At the end of the flight, the plane ends up exactly where it’s meant to be, and it gets there one microcorrection at a time.

The reason most people quit is because they find themselves too far off course. They take on a monthly fitness challenge that now seems impossible, or have business projections that now are just a pipe dream. They see the difference between where they wanted to be and where they are, and give up because the gap is just too big. 

But if you have the awareness to know that you’ve been knocked off course, you can make a small correction in the moment that gets you back on track. You can prevent a big divide by taking corrective action before too much time passes. 

This is just as true for a plane flight as it is for your personal goals. You have a day where you lacked consistency or missed the mark, a ‘cheat day’... The end result of that choice can go two different ways. Either you let it go unnoticed and snowball into more misaligned days, or you do something about it to get right back on track. 

Getting back on track is simple to do and requires these two things: The awareness that it happened and the discipline to take corrective action.

The natural reaction is to feel bad for yourself, criticize, and lament your mistake. But the most successful can overcome the negativity they’re feeling, pick themselves back up, and fix it before too much damage is done. It’s those who can consistently and quickly reorient their approach that spend the least amount of time off track. And therefore, they’re the most effective at reaching their goals and getting where they want to go.

Let me know if you can relate with this... You have a full day of good, intentional, healthy choices. You get up without pressing ‘Snooze’, get a good workout in and a healthy breakfast, stay focused on your work and do a good job avoiding distractions that pop up or time scrolling on social media, cook a healthy dinner and enjoy it while you’re present with loved ones, and now it’s time to wind-down for bed.

It’s at this time of night when your will has been spent, you’re feeling tired, and you’re at risk of undoing all of the good work you’ve done all day. Healthy meals are erased by binging on dessert and sweets when you’re not even hungry. You give in to the allure of your phone notifications and catch yourself scrolling mindlessly for 30 minutes. You do ‘one last thing’ for work that leads to doing many other work-related things that aren’t that important. And before you know it, your good day has been spoiled by a few bad choices.

This is the unfortunate fate for many of us. We do so well all day and then in the evening lose self-control. And for those of us who are committed to being our best, we can’t afford to let our guard down at the end of the day.

There’s something called ‘revenge bedtime procrastination’ where people feel the need to make up for their busy daytime schedule by letting loose before bed. It’s an outlet to combat rigidness with unrestrained personal leisure time.

And it comes at a cost the consciously we’re unwilling to pay. We don’t want to undo our good work today or set ourselves back for tomorrow, yet ‘revenge bedtime procrastination’ is common because we’re susceptible to lapses in judgment at the end of a long and tiring day.  We don’t want it or choose it, yet it hijacks our mind and pulls us off course.

Here are a few things you can do to offset this:

1. Have a step-by-step night routine. Rather than needing to figure out what the right choice is, you can decide that in advance, making it much easier to follow through on more productive behaviors. My recommendation is to set an alarm in the evening that kicks off your night-routine so that you have the awareness to do it consistently.

2. Set some rules. Included in the details of your night routine, you can set rules for yourself. Things like “no sugar after 8pm”, “no using my phone in bed”, “no emails after dinner”, etc. This helps establish a boundary and makes it clear to you if you cross it.

3. Utilize accountability. Knowing that you need to answer to your choices later, even your most-tired self is motivated to avoid the consequences of letting someone else down. When you’re aware of what the culprits of your ‘revenge bedtime procrastination’ usually are, you can structure accountability to address it directly

We’re all more likely to make poor choices when we’re tired, but don’t let your guard down at the end of a long day. Instead let your good choices compound uninterrupted in the direction of your goals.