As part of the Self Improvement Fast Track series, today I want to elaborate on the second reason why people like you choose to invest time in their self-improvement, which is because they feel stuck, low on motivation or directionless. It all creates a sensation of paralysis where no matter what you do or try, things always find their way back to how they used to be. And compared to our ambitions to live, big, full, happening lives, it can feel like we’re missing out on making the most out of life. 

It’s really disappointing to put so much time and effort into making progress, but things just aren’t going anywhere… To know that you need to take better care of yourself but you just can’t bring yourself to doing it consistently… To come up with new great ideas that you feel inspired by but then you don’t take any steps toward it because you don’t know where to get started. And further it adds pressure because you know that you’re wasting time and the regret is building up.

First, know that feeling stuck or feeling low on motivation is not a reflection of you. The most high-performing people in the world have moments where they don’t feel like doing things, doubt their life path, and hit plateaus that they just can’t breakthrough. But the difference is they have the systems, support, and mindset they need to get past it. So if you’re looking to pull yourself out of a rut and start living inspired, proud of the life you’re living and the contribution you’re making toward others, these are the places to start.

Second, you need something to be working toward. It’s really hard to motivate yourself to do something that isn’t connected to something meaningful to you. A strong enough ‘Why’ can overcome any ‘How’. This becomes the direction that your action steps follow. Now if you don’t have that North Star direction in your life, then it’s a matter of becoming more self-aware and radically honest about what you want. From there you can start taking tiny steps forward, that turn into bigger steps, that kickstart momentum and transform an unmotivated life into an action-taking machine!

When you free yourself from the prison of inaction and get yourself to start trying new things, putting yourself out there, and chasing dreams in even the smallest of ways, you unlock your next level of potential and life fulfillment.

As part of the Self Improvement Fast Track series, today I want to elaborate on the first reason why people like you choose to invest time in self-improvement, which is because they have unhealthy habits or lifestyle.

These are people who recognize that they’re not working out consistently, they don’t make the best food choices, and/or they’re not getting enough sleep. They’re motivated to change it because they recognize the consequences of how it impacts their daily energy levels, their ability to manage stress, their own feelings of vitality, and their self-confidence.

Maybe they’re holding on to some extra weight that they gained... They’re not able to keep up with others... Or they’re chronically tired with brain fog causing them to miss out on being present for important moments (or underperform at work). It can be really frustrating to know that you’re capable of so much more but your mind and body are holding you back.

The incredible opportunity with improved health is that when you invest in taking better care of yourself, everything else improves. When you feel more energized you’re in a better mood, you respond better to challenges, you do things better with more focus, and you’re more likely make other positive choices which leads to more positive benefits. The alternative, or having low energy levels, leaves you more susceptible to procrastinating on things which makes you stay up late, choosing the convenient and unhealthy food option, or skipping out on being active throughout the day - which just makes things worse.

Overall, being healthier is simple. It comes down to being more consistent with the 3 fundamentals - exercising consistently, eating healthy, and getting enough rest. In each of those areas, I bet you know what you could do to be better... The problem isn’t a having a shortage of knowledge or ideas, it’s that you don’t have the discipline, consistency, routines, and accountability you need to actually do it. So you don’t.

But the moment you get serious about really taking care of yourself and prioritizing your health, with just small shifts to your lifestyle, you can unlock new levels of daily energy. That’s exactly why this is such a pointed opportunity to fast track your self-improvement.

Perhaps humanity’s greatest challenge is to delay gratification. I wish it weren't this way, but most behaviors that are healthiest for us, help us achieve our personal professional goals, and bring us the most fulfillment are things that don’t feel good to do in the moment. 

The world seems to operate like this: Immediate superficial reward = Delayed consequences. Delayed meaningful reward = Immediate consequences.

Oddly enough, something that reminds me of this is the water filter we have in our kitchen. It’s better for you to drink filtered water rather than water from the tap, so this is an important aspect of my health. But the thing about a water filter is it’s not ready for you immediately. You pour tap water in the top and the water runs through the filter slowly, drip by drip. This means that in order to drink filtered water when you want it, you need to be proactive about making it available.

It gives me satisfaction to fill up the water filter because it reminds me of how I choose to do the things that are good for me. It’s a subtle flex that I’m committed to doing things that serve more over the long term. Because if I don’t, then I’m forced to drink unfiltered water or waste time and wait until it’s filtered. 

Every time I prepare the water filter, it’s a small gift I’m giving to my future self. And that’s what delaying gratification is all about. The more we can be connected to the impact our choices today will have on us in the future, the more reward we feel in the short-term when we make good choices. And it makes it easier to do the right thing.

Filling up a water filter is the smallest, stupidest, most boring thing to talk about… But it’s the concept behind it that speaks volumes. Imagine if you did more things that your future self will thank you for. Imagine if you traded giving into temptation, getting distracted, and reacting emotionally for self-control, laser-focus, and emotional regulation. 

Your health, daily progress toward your personal and professional goals, and relationships would improve tremendously. And I guess it all starts with investing the 15 seconds to be proactive about filling up your water filter.

I was on a call last week with someone who I just met but I can tell is going to become a fast friend. Her name is Lexi and she said “Choose yourself every day.”

Isn’t it crazy that this needs to be a reminder? How many of us are choosing our families, work, social commitments, and so many other things over ourselves? On a busy day the first things to be deprioritized are the things we do for our own self-care, health, and wellness.

And while it’s done with good intentions, the unfortunate part is that this choice comes to the determinant of everything else. Your family, work, and everything else actually gets less of you when you don’t make you a priority. There’s a framework I share called the “Time Pie Analogy”. Basically, think about your day as a pie and your different commitments as different slices - let’s say cut into thirds between work, family, and yourself. 

Logically, you’d think that more time spent on yourself would be a bigger slice that takes up more pie, leaving smaller slices for work and family. While that’s true mathematically in terms of percentages, this assumption is overlooking something critical. When you invest in your self-care, the pie gets bigger. 

Sure the slice for your family is less than a third, but the quantity of slice is bigger because it’s being cut from a bigger pie. And the slice for your work might be smaller too, but you actually get more done because you’re investing in your capacity to do things with more quality.

That’s why choosing yourself makes sense on two levels: First is because you are worthy of it! We talk about making a difference and helping people… Don’t forget the fact that you’re a person too, and choosing to help yourself is an act of charity. And not only that, but the best thing you can do for others is to take care of yourself because it allows you to do everything with more quality.  

So what can you do to choose yourself today? Is it getting some ‘me time’ away from the kids for an hour? Is it paying a little more to get a really healthy meal? Is it going to sleep on time and making people wait until the morning to hear back from you?

Whatever form it takes for you, take action on it! It’s the best thing you can do for others too.

In a meditation last week a very powerful question popped into my head that I want to share with you - What’s more important to you, to be liked or to make an impact?

I fully understand that you can have both at the same time, and they’re actually on the same team more than they oppose each other... But given the raw materials of the two, my consciousness tasked me to genuinely respond to it. And I think the reason is because I have let wanting to be liked take precedence over making an impact.

This brings up something called a ‘competing commitment’. Kind of like self-sabotage, it’s an odd phenomenon that creates resistance to doing what you tell yourself you want to do. It’s a pattern where an unconscious need wins out over a conscious want.

A personal example, I’m deeply inspired about a New Year campaign that I’m launching (that you’ll hear about soon). Professionally there are few things that take priority over that, yet there have been a handful of events I’ve been invited to that I’ve chosen to attend. I believe that if I was choosing to make an impact I would decline and stay focused, and if I accept then I’m allowing other things, like a desire to be liked by others, be more important.

Another example, and probably the one that brought this to mind… In order to really tap into my fullest impact through this campaign I’m going to need to get bold in my outreach, call in favors, and challenge people to support. I need to get bold, and it might scare some people away or make people think differently of me. Perhaps I’m hanging on to a need to be liked and letting it compromise my impact.

Fortunately, the way to defeat competing commitments and self-sabotage is through awareness. You can only do something about it when you know it’s happening. With awareness you have the opportunity to push through the resistance and take actions that align with what you’re telling yourself you want. 

I’m committed to making an impact. I don’t want to rub people the wrong way, but I must be willing to. I am learning to trust my own intentions over the feedback others give me, and fully execute my mission even though it might come at a greater cost. It’s all in service of changing the world, as we’re on our way!

A major emphasis in self-improvement for many people is to be more self-disciplined and do what they say they will do. For whatever reason, when it comes to getting something done for work or another person, it’s no problem. You’re an action-taking machine! But when it comes to doing something for yourself, it’s different. And there’s an explanation for it - it all comes down to consequences.

When someone else expects something of us, we get it done because we don’t want to let someone else down. It’s the pain of damaging a relationship, being unreliable, or leaving someone worse off that motivates us to act. The consequences are significant and public. But when you don’t follow through on doing the thing you tell yourself you’re going to do privately, the consequences aren’t the same. The mind can easily deflect and rationalize to steer you off course, failing to step up doesn’t sting as much, and not meeting expectations becomes more acceptable.

So if you want to get more consistent in your health and wellness, and more serious about your goals and dreams, you need to add consequences. When you share publicly that you’re going to the gym in the morning, online or to a friend, you’re so much more likely to do it. Why? Because now there are consequences to not doing it. When you tell your family you’ll stop working by 5pm and help prepare dinner, even though that’s been your private intention for weeks, you’re more likely to put work away and transition to being with your family on time.

Humanity is motivated by two things - the pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of pain. When you’re playing a game privately, the pain isn’t so severe. When you’re playing a game publicly and people know what’s on the line, you feel it. 

This is why accountability is one of the greatest drivers of performance. Most people know exactly what to do, they understand what's healthy and what's not, the problem is people just can’t bring themselves to doing it. But accountability adds a layer of awareness and public expectation that transforms the way you step up to the commitment.

So for you, as you’re thinking about that one thing you want to be more consistent with and more disciplined toward, brainstorm what you can do to create consequences for not doing it. It’ll change everything.

Something I’m really focusing on in my self-growth right now is deliberately putting myself outside of my comfort zone, setting me up to rise to the occasion. I have a pattern of wanting to be fully prepared for everything - if I’ve got a big month-long sprint in my work, I’ve got a plan. If I take on a big workout, I chunk it down into smaller parts and pace myself. And while I’m really effective at getting things done with this process, I also see it as limiting.

Ed Mylett says that one of the traits he sees in the most successful people in the world is that they have a  lower threshold for what they need to know to take action. Even though they don’t have it all figured out, they have confidence that they’ll figure it out when it presents itself.

This is precisely why I want to do more things I’m not prepared for, and put myself in situations where I can prove to myself that I have what it takes to succeed through uncertainty. Recently this has taken the form of physical challenges. In September I went to Atlanta to an event called Runningman. I trained to run a half marathon but end up pushing myself 31 miles, completing a 50k and going more than twice as far as I intended. I didn’t have a plan for how I’d go that far, but I figured it out.

And then today, on Veterans Day, I’m taking on another physical feat. I run a campaign called Burpees For Vets where fitness leaders across the country do one burpee for every dollar donated to their fundraiser. We’ve raised over $700,000 for veteran nonprofits in the last 4 years. I participate in the campaign myself and this year have personally fundraised $2,000, meaning that I’m doing 2,000 burpees today.

The process-oriented side of me has already done the math - that’s 6 hours and 40 minutes of doing 5 burpees every minute! And while that’s the game plan, this challenge will certainly push me into new spaces I’ve never been.

I share all of this because there is growth in doing things that you aren’t prepared for. You discover new sides of yourself because they’re forced to come out, and you get to see your mindset on full display. And that’s my encouragement to you - if you notice that you feel a bit too comfortable or settled in, think about something you could do to interrupt the pattern and give you a new experience,

I was driving to a meeting in LA a few weeks ago and was presented with a really interesting lesson about choices and risk.

I gave myself plenty of time to make the drive, and left early in the morning so that I missed the majority of the traffic. But in LA, that’s nearly impossible. As the traffic started to pile up I noticed an Express Lane available on the far left-hand side. As someone who has learned to value my time, I chose to pay a few dollars to expedite my trip.

I was cruising in it for a while, passing many cars in the standard traffic as you’d expect to in the paid Express Lane until it started to slow down too... Then it was stopped altogether. Meanwhile the standard line crept along and all of the progress I made was erased. As we were still stopped, I reasoned that the overall I was going slower in the Express Lane than I would have ifi I just stayed in the normal lane.

This is a moment that would make many people frustrated, paying more to get a worse result. But having given myself ample time, I didn't feel the stress and instead was able to extract this lesson.

I had certain assumptions about what the Express Lane would do for me. Based on past experiences, I unconsciously determined that getting in it was the right choice. At some level I calculated the likelihood of the different scenarios and found it reasonable that the Express Lane would be faster and worth the money.

But just because that’s what I concluded does not mean it’s guaranteed. There was risk. When you quantify the risk, you’re determining the probability that an undesirable result will occur. Sometimes you take action with lots of risk, where the upside is unlikely but impactful. In this case the risk was small but happened nonetheless.

That is calculating this all from my limited level of awareness. Had I made this drive during rush hour more often, I would have more experience and information to work with. I’d be able to better quantify the risk because I’d have more data points.

And I think that’s the overall message I’m trying to share - You need to take ownership of the choices you make. I was solely responsible for choosing to take the Express Lane, which means that I need to accept the consequences. Things don’t just happen - there’s a reason why they don’t go the way you expect them to. In taking time to understand what’s in your control, what could be done differently, and what factors are at play, you can prepare yourself to get better outcomes.