If You Want Something, Ask For It

Sharing a bit of personal experience, this used to be a huge issue for me. I would way too often compromise what I wanted because of a lack of self confidence. I feared that I would offend someone, or inconvenience someone, or jeapordize a relationship if I interjected. As a result, I found myself in situations where I wasn’t entirely happy with the result, and reflecting on my own actions and why I couldn’t stand up for myself.

Well, I have gotten over this fear (for the most part), but it was a process. In sales, my colleague introduced me to the expression “a closed mouth don’t get fed”, and I learned to speak up for myself to earn business. When I started asking, I started receiving, and it helped me feel more confident that I had realistic expectations and that I could have what I want.  

However, I must state, that this shouldn’t be abused. It is essential to know when the right moments are to ask for something, because making unjustified demands can work out poorly for you.

So, what I would do is start small. When your server gets part of your order wrong, kindly ask for a correction. Or, if there is a discrepancy in price, nicely ask for clarification. Use small examples like that to build up your courage and confidence to ask for the things that you want.