Hardwiring For Achievement

One of what I call “humanity's fatal flaws” is our hardwiring for immediate gratification. As beings living in dynamic environments with constantly changing threats, it was important that we have a feedback loop to make sense of the world around us. This feedback loop was designed to keep us immediately safe, as that was more imminent, so that’s what our species evolved to do. 

Unfortunately in the modern world, there are many things that give us immediate gratification that are bad for us in the long run, and many of our daily struggles come in fighting this battle of delaying gratification and choosing to do what most serves us over the long term.

What I’ve only recently come to realize is that this need for immediate gratification might also be responsible for our unending need for achievement. We want to feel like we’re living meaningful, purposeful, contributing lives. The shortcut, short-term way of getting that is through accolades, material things, and validation. It’s winning that award, buying the fancy car, or being complimented that makes us feel valuable in the moment. It plays into our unconscious desire for status and it makes us feel good to claim it. 

But we know, from our own lives and stories we hear about others, that these things are empty. The joy that comes from extrinsic sources doesn’t last. There’s even a phenomenon called 'hedonic adaptation' that talks about how we get used to nice things and that over time they no longer feel so nice, and in order to feel the same way again we need to find something else. It’s a hamster wheel where you’re seduced into chasing things that don’t ultimately serve you.

What we can do is trade that for things that bring true, lasting fulfillment - like living with integrity, dedicating your life to something bigger than yourself, and investing in building deep relationships with people you care about. These things are a slow burn. They don’t create moments of heightened fulfillment and purpose like some other things would, but they build a foundation of self-respect and purpose. They make you feel good about your life even when there’s nothing special going on with it. 

We’re in a worthiness epidemic. So many people, myself included, are investing too much of ourselves in doing and achieving more to make us feel good about who we are. But the beauty is in the being, not the doing, and that happens every moment of every day.