As part of the Self Improvement Fast Track series, today I want to elaborate on the fourth reason why people like you choose to invest time in their self-improvement, which is to improve their confidence and self-esteem.

Now that it’s so easy to see everyone’s success on social media, many people feel sorry for themselves because they don’t feel successful in comparison. We see people with beautiful bodies, going on amazing trips, building incredible businesses and leading impactful initiatives, and we question if we’re even capable of any of it ourselves. It makes us doubt if we can live up to the big vision we have for our lives and wonder if we’re just average.

If you’re low on self-confidence, you’re less likely to put yourself out there. You’re hesitant to take risks and create opportunities in your career, settle for relationships and friendships where you’re undervalued, never get that new idea or passion project off the ground, and invest in the things that you know will help you get to the next level. You’re letting limiting beliefs and overthinking keep you from doing the things you’re feeling a nudge to do, and because you’re not taking the necessary actions you keep falling short of generating the desired results.

First and foremost, self-confidence and self-esteem come from having an intense trust in yourself. It’s a belief that you'll do what you say you will do, that you have what it takes to make the most of whatever situations you find yourself in, that you can fix the mistakes you make, trust your own judgment over what other people think about you, and that you’ll always be okay because you’ve got your own back. Improving your self-confidence goes along with improving your mindset and becoming more self-disciplined, resilient, and faithful in your ability to improve.

To build those mindsets, you need to start collecting evidence that all of those things are true. You make that difficult call because you said you would, and doing so most serves you. You get bold about a new idea you have and start asking people for help. You do your best to reframe any feelings of criticism to datapoints of feedback. You challenge yourself to express yourself more because you know that you’re more than just how you look, and a full package of great ideas, a caring heart, and unique personality that other people enjoy being around. It’s the consistency in action that builds up proof that you are a confident person.

Once you get your self-esteem up, then you’re unstoppable! You have full conviction in your abilities and you’re someone who others seek advice from because your life example inspires them. You don’t put so much pressure on yourself because you know you can rise to the occasion, which helps you to take action with more ease and flow.

As part of the Self Improvement Fast Track series, today I want to elaborate on the third reason why people like you choose to invest time in their self-improvement, which is because they want to get better at managing stress, feeling less overwhelmed by all of their responsibilities, and create more balance in their life.

I get it - life is busier than ever. It can feel like a constant sprint where you’re just trying to get over the hump, only to find an even bigger hill to climb behind it, over and over again. It’s like you’re running a race where the finish line is always moved forward before you reach it. And waiting for things to slow down is pointless because something else adds on and you never get a chance to recover, leading to burnout as you’re slowly being overstretched too thin.

At work, it could be that things just keep getting added to your plate and it keeps demanding more and more of your time. In your personal life, maybe things just keep piling up where family emergencies and commitments like trips, visits, decision-making and being a supporting system all fall on you. Not to mention the financial pressure you carry to continue performing in your work so that you can ensure a sense of security for you and your loved ones.

Stress and overwhelm are the symptom of the same thing - you don’t have the personal capacity to comfortably handle everything that life demands of you. And as a result, you get pulled out of balance and start overweighing certain areas of your life at the expense of others, particularly your health and self-care, which are the pathway to expanding your capacity.

So what needs to happen first is decrease the demand - To set better boundaries, take on less, get out of the rat race of trying to survive the day. Then with that space, you can start investing in things that increase your capacity, like a more reasonable work schedule and consistent health routines, that keep you from overexerting yourself. And it’s by improving your physical and emotional state that you can start doing things with more quality, and more efficiently, to be the person capable of taking on the challenges life throws at you. 

It’s by arriving at a more settled, sustainable, balanced state that you get out of the daily fight and start enjoying the things you’re doing more, because you have more capacity to be present with them and you’re actually in a place to make progress on them.

As part of the Self Improvement Fast Track series, today I want to elaborate on the second reason why people like you choose to invest time in their self-improvement, which is because they feel stuck, low on motivation or directionless. It all creates a sensation of paralysis where no matter what you do or try, things always find their way back to how they used to be. And compared to our ambitions to live, big, full, happening lives, it can feel like we’re missing out on making the most out of life. 

It’s really disappointing to put so much time and effort into making progress, but things just aren’t going anywhere… To know that you need to take better care of yourself but you just can’t bring yourself to doing it consistently… To come up with new great ideas that you feel inspired by but then you don’t take any steps toward it because you don’t know where to get started. And further it adds pressure because you know that you’re wasting time and the regret is building up.

First, know that feeling stuck or feeling low on motivation is not a reflection of you. The most high-performing people in the world have moments where they don’t feel like doing things, doubt their life path, and hit plateaus that they just can’t breakthrough. But the difference is they have the systems, support, and mindset they need to get past it. So if you’re looking to pull yourself out of a rut and start living inspired, proud of the life you’re living and the contribution you’re making toward others, these are the places to start.

Second, you need something to be working toward. It’s really hard to motivate yourself to do something that isn’t connected to something meaningful to you. A strong enough ‘Why’ can overcome any ‘How’. This becomes the direction that your action steps follow. Now if you don’t have that North Star direction in your life, then it’s a matter of becoming more self-aware and radically honest about what you want. From there you can start taking tiny steps forward, that turn into bigger steps, that kickstart momentum and transform an unmotivated life into an action-taking machine!

When you free yourself from the prison of inaction and get yourself to start trying new things, putting yourself out there, and chasing dreams in even the smallest of ways, you unlock your next level of potential and life fulfillment.

As part of the Self Improvement Fast Track series, today I want to elaborate on the first reason why people like you choose to invest time in self-improvement, which is because they have unhealthy habits or lifestyle.

These are people who recognize that they’re not working out consistently, they don’t make the best food choices, and/or they’re not getting enough sleep. They’re motivated to change it because they recognize the consequences of how it impacts their daily energy levels, their ability to manage stress, their own feelings of vitality, and their self-confidence.

Maybe they’re holding on to some extra weight that they gained... They’re not able to keep up with others... Or they’re chronically tired with brain fog causing them to miss out on being present for important moments (or underperform at work). It can be really frustrating to know that you’re capable of so much more but your mind and body are holding you back.

The incredible opportunity with improved health is that when you invest in taking better care of yourself, everything else improves. When you feel more energized you’re in a better mood, you respond better to challenges, you do things better with more focus, and you’re more likely make other positive choices which leads to more positive benefits. The alternative, or having low energy levels, leaves you more susceptible to procrastinating on things which makes you stay up late, choosing the convenient and unhealthy food option, or skipping out on being active throughout the day - which just makes things worse.

Overall, being healthier is simple. It comes down to being more consistent with the 3 fundamentals - exercising consistently, eating healthy, and getting enough rest. In each of those areas, I bet you know what you could do to be better... The problem isn’t a having a shortage of knowledge or ideas, it’s that you don’t have the discipline, consistency, routines, and accountability you need to actually do it. So you don’t.

But the moment you get serious about really taking care of yourself and prioritizing your health, with just small shifts to your lifestyle, you can unlock new levels of daily energy. That’s exactly why this is such a pointed opportunity to fast track your self-improvement.

Perhaps humanity’s greatest challenge is to delay gratification. I wish it weren't this way, but most behaviors that are healthiest for us, help us achieve our personal professional goals, and bring us the most fulfillment are things that don’t feel good to do in the moment. 

The world seems to operate like this: Immediate superficial reward = Delayed consequences. Delayed meaningful reward = Immediate consequences.

Oddly enough, something that reminds me of this is the water filter we have in our kitchen. It’s better for you to drink filtered water rather than water from the tap, so this is an important aspect of my health. But the thing about a water filter is it’s not ready for you immediately. You pour tap water in the top and the water runs through the filter slowly, drip by drip. This means that in order to drink filtered water when you want it, you need to be proactive about making it available.

It gives me satisfaction to fill up the water filter because it reminds me of how I choose to do the things that are good for me. It’s a subtle flex that I’m committed to doing things that serve more over the long term. Because if I don’t, then I’m forced to drink unfiltered water or waste time and wait until it’s filtered. 

Every time I prepare the water filter, it’s a small gift I’m giving to my future self. And that’s what delaying gratification is all about. The more we can be connected to the impact our choices today will have on us in the future, the more reward we feel in the short-term when we make good choices. And it makes it easier to do the right thing.

Filling up a water filter is the smallest, stupidest, most boring thing to talk about… But it’s the concept behind it that speaks volumes. Imagine if you did more things that your future self will thank you for. Imagine if you traded giving into temptation, getting distracted, and reacting emotionally for self-control, laser-focus, and emotional regulation. 

Your health, daily progress toward your personal and professional goals, and relationships would improve tremendously. And I guess it all starts with investing the 15 seconds to be proactive about filling up your water filter.

I was on a call last week with someone who I just met but I can tell is going to become a fast friend. Her name is Lexi and she said “Choose yourself every day.”

Isn’t it crazy that this needs to be a reminder? How many of us are choosing our families, work, social commitments, and so many other things over ourselves? On a busy day the first things to be deprioritized are the things we do for our own self-care, health, and wellness.

And while it’s done with good intentions, the unfortunate part is that this choice comes to the determinant of everything else. Your family, work, and everything else actually gets less of you when you don’t make you a priority. There’s a framework I share called the “Time Pie Analogy”. Basically, think about your day as a pie and your different commitments as different slices - let’s say cut into thirds between work, family, and yourself. 

Logically, you’d think that more time spent on yourself would be a bigger slice that takes up more pie, leaving smaller slices for work and family. While that’s true mathematically in terms of percentages, this assumption is overlooking something critical. When you invest in your self-care, the pie gets bigger. 

Sure the slice for your family is less than a third, but the quantity of slice is bigger because it’s being cut from a bigger pie. And the slice for your work might be smaller too, but you actually get more done because you’re investing in your capacity to do things with more quality.

That’s why choosing yourself makes sense on two levels: First is because you are worthy of it! We talk about making a difference and helping people… Don’t forget the fact that you’re a person too, and choosing to help yourself is an act of charity. And not only that, but the best thing you can do for others is to take care of yourself because it allows you to do everything with more quality.  

So what can you do to choose yourself today? Is it getting some ‘me time’ away from the kids for an hour? Is it paying a little more to get a really healthy meal? Is it going to sleep on time and making people wait until the morning to hear back from you?

Whatever form it takes for you, take action on it! It’s the best thing you can do for others too.

In a meditation last week a very powerful question popped into my head that I want to share with you - What’s more important to you, to be liked or to make an impact?

I fully understand that you can have both at the same time, and they’re actually on the same team more than they oppose each other... But given the raw materials of the two, my consciousness tasked me to genuinely respond to it. And I think the reason is because I have let wanting to be liked take precedence over making an impact.

This brings up something called a ‘competing commitment’. Kind of like self-sabotage, it’s an odd phenomenon that creates resistance to doing what you tell yourself you want to do. It’s a pattern where an unconscious need wins out over a conscious want.

A personal example, I’m deeply inspired about a New Year campaign that I’m launching (that you’ll hear about soon). Professionally there are few things that take priority over that, yet there have been a handful of events I’ve been invited to that I’ve chosen to attend. I believe that if I was choosing to make an impact I would decline and stay focused, and if I accept then I’m allowing other things, like a desire to be liked by others, be more important.

Another example, and probably the one that brought this to mind… In order to really tap into my fullest impact through this campaign I’m going to need to get bold in my outreach, call in favors, and challenge people to support. I need to get bold, and it might scare some people away or make people think differently of me. Perhaps I’m hanging on to a need to be liked and letting it compromise my impact.

Fortunately, the way to defeat competing commitments and self-sabotage is through awareness. You can only do something about it when you know it’s happening. With awareness you have the opportunity to push through the resistance and take actions that align with what you’re telling yourself you want. 

I’m committed to making an impact. I don’t want to rub people the wrong way, but I must be willing to. I am learning to trust my own intentions over the feedback others give me, and fully execute my mission even though it might come at a greater cost. It’s all in service of changing the world, as we’re on our way!

A major emphasis in self-improvement for many people is to be more self-disciplined and do what they say they will do. For whatever reason, when it comes to getting something done for work or another person, it’s no problem. You’re an action-taking machine! But when it comes to doing something for yourself, it’s different. And there’s an explanation for it - it all comes down to consequences.

When someone else expects something of us, we get it done because we don’t want to let someone else down. It’s the pain of damaging a relationship, being unreliable, or leaving someone worse off that motivates us to act. The consequences are significant and public. But when you don’t follow through on doing the thing you tell yourself you’re going to do privately, the consequences aren’t the same. The mind can easily deflect and rationalize to steer you off course, failing to step up doesn’t sting as much, and not meeting expectations becomes more acceptable.

So if you want to get more consistent in your health and wellness, and more serious about your goals and dreams, you need to add consequences. When you share publicly that you’re going to the gym in the morning, online or to a friend, you’re so much more likely to do it. Why? Because now there are consequences to not doing it. When you tell your family you’ll stop working by 5pm and help prepare dinner, even though that’s been your private intention for weeks, you’re more likely to put work away and transition to being with your family on time.

Humanity is motivated by two things - the pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of pain. When you’re playing a game privately, the pain isn’t so severe. When you’re playing a game publicly and people know what’s on the line, you feel it. 

This is why accountability is one of the greatest drivers of performance. Most people know exactly what to do, they understand what's healthy and what's not, the problem is people just can’t bring themselves to doing it. But accountability adds a layer of awareness and public expectation that transforms the way you step up to the commitment.

So for you, as you’re thinking about that one thing you want to be more consistent with and more disciplined toward, brainstorm what you can do to create consequences for not doing it. It’ll change everything.

Something I’m really focusing on in my self-growth right now is deliberately putting myself outside of my comfort zone, setting me up to rise to the occasion. I have a pattern of wanting to be fully prepared for everything - if I’ve got a big month-long sprint in my work, I’ve got a plan. If I take on a big workout, I chunk it down into smaller parts and pace myself. And while I’m really effective at getting things done with this process, I also see it as limiting.

Ed Mylett says that one of the traits he sees in the most successful people in the world is that they have a  lower threshold for what they need to know to take action. Even though they don’t have it all figured out, they have confidence that they’ll figure it out when it presents itself.

This is precisely why I want to do more things I’m not prepared for, and put myself in situations where I can prove to myself that I have what it takes to succeed through uncertainty. Recently this has taken the form of physical challenges. In September I went to Atlanta to an event called Runningman. I trained to run a half marathon but end up pushing myself 31 miles, completing a 50k and going more than twice as far as I intended. I didn’t have a plan for how I’d go that far, but I figured it out.

And then today, on Veterans Day, I’m taking on another physical feat. I run a campaign called Burpees For Vets where fitness leaders across the country do one burpee for every dollar donated to their fundraiser. We’ve raised over $700,000 for veteran nonprofits in the last 4 years. I participate in the campaign myself and this year have personally fundraised $2,000, meaning that I’m doing 2,000 burpees today.

The process-oriented side of me has already done the math - that’s 6 hours and 40 minutes of doing 5 burpees every minute! And while that’s the game plan, this challenge will certainly push me into new spaces I’ve never been.

I share all of this because there is growth in doing things that you aren’t prepared for. You discover new sides of yourself because they’re forced to come out, and you get to see your mindset on full display. And that’s my encouragement to you - if you notice that you feel a bit too comfortable or settled in, think about something you could do to interrupt the pattern and give you a new experience,