Tips To Disconnect After Work

Something I’m hearing more and more is that high-performers are struggling to wind down, relax, and be present at the end of a work day. They have a hard time disconnecting after work and it’s causing them to not be the person their loved ones deserve. Even when they’re done working, they still have ideas and to-dos running in the back of their minds, pulling their attention away from what’s in front of them.

Ultimately I believe there are two things at the root of this. First is the pressure to perform. Things are competitive these days and expectations from employers and clients are high. It’s increasingly difficult to stand out and get the good results that lead to more opportunities and financial security. This causes people to work compulsively, and for work to be on their mind more often than it needs to be.

The second component is that it’s rooted in our self-image. We see ourselves as a high-performer, and know that high-performance requires that we’re as productive as possible. This means that we try to fit more into the empty space between moments, and because of that we never truly allow ourselves to shut work off. It can be so extreme that we can feel anxiety or uneasiness when we’re doing nothing because our mind’s are so wired to produce.

I speak about this from experience because it's something I continue to have challenges with myself. As my ambitions have grown I’ve noticed that in my personal life I’m not as present in moments as I’d like to be, or listening as intently as I could. At times it’s keeping me from making the most of my time with others, which is one of the things I value most.

What has worked for me is to reframe my disconnected down-time as a productivity multiplier. I recognize that my mind is sharpest when I’m most balanced, so I’ve been more intentional about protecting my personal time knowing that it contributes to my ultimate high-performance.

Because after all, life isn’t just about your work. It’s a big part of life, but it’s not everything. The more I’ve been able to work intensely when it’s time to work, play hard when it’s time to play, and rest maximally when it’s time to rest… The more fulfilling my life has been. And for me, that has started with finding better ways to disconnect after work.