Reciprocity In Action

You’ve probably heard the expression “the fastest way to get what you want is to give it away first.”  This happens because of the ‘Law of Reciprocity’ which Robert Cialdini says is a primary principle of influence where we feel inclined to provide for those who have provided for us to create a mutual exchange. 

I had an experience this past weekend that confirmed this for me completely. I ran a Spartan Race, which was a 10k trail with 28 obstacles in between including sandbag carries, all sorts of swinging bars, tall nets, steep walls, and barbed wire crawls among other things.

Most people take on the race in groups but I signed up and showed up by myself.  I had a few interactions with people before the race, but largely I took on the course by myself. I knew that as I got tired and the obstacles got harder I would need support, and since I didn’t have a support system I decided I’d create one. And the way I did that was by having an intentional strategy to use the law of reciprocity in my favor.

Here’s how it went: As I passed people or they passed me, more often than not I would celebrate them with an enthusiastic and genuine “Great job!” More often than not, I would get a response back that was something like “Thanks! You’re doing great too!” 

Even though it was preempted, each time I got a small encouragement from other racers it gave me energy. It felt like a slight breeze on my back pushing me forward. Especially if I was passing them, I had more motivation to push myself and prove them right.

This is the law of reciprocity to a tee - The more you give something, the more likely you are to receive. If I introduce myself as Brian Ford, you’ll introduce yourself with your first and last name. If I ask you how I can support you, or make an introduction for you, you’ll ask about how you can support me and seek to make an introduction for me.  

In business there are networking groups that thrive on this concept. Generosity inspires generosity. You get out what you put in, and the more ways you find to offer value upfront the more rewarded with value you’ll be in the end.