Perception Represents Beliefs

I was on an introductory call with a new connection last week and my experience with it brought to light some of my beliefs. First I dove into my story and why I’m so fired up to do what I do, and he offered to introduce me to someone who could help. Then we got into his story and work, which went 20 minutes beyond the half hour we’d allocated for the conversation. And finally we wrapped up the call and went our separate ways.

I say that all to level set and state the facts of the conversation before getting into the judgments and perception that came from these facts.

Given how the conversation got on my calendar, I went into it thinking that it might be a sales conversation. I was warm and engaged, but needless to say I had my guard up a little. This means that when he offered an introduction, I perceived it as part of his sales funnel where he seeks to add value before getting into his pitch. 

As he got into his story I noticed a name drop here, a humble brag there, and noticed myself questioning his intentions. And when the conversation extended beyond the 30 minutes I planned for I became a little anxious knowing that I wouldn’t be able to do the other things I committed to doing during that time. And as I left the conversation, I noticed that I felt unsettled and wanted to understand why.

This is where we get into our beliefs, which are the unconscious lens and filter that we see everything in life through. It's’ the belief system that creates the meaning from the set of facts.

Trying to be as honest with myself as possible, one belief that surfaced related to being in a sales environment. A belief that things should always be done with good intentions, and that it’s unethical to be manipulative in a sales conversation because that means you have poor intentions. But what is it about me that assumed he had bad intentions and was being manipulative? Perhaps a belief I have about sales overall? Or money?

Another belief that surfaced related to time integrity - that staying on task maximizes your output for the day and allows you to live a fully balanced life. When the conversation started to violate that, the belief fought back and created uneasiness.   

All of this highlights the importance of being as conscious as possible. When you’re conscious, you’re aware of how all these little factors are at play in shaping your perception. Your beliefs deserve to be questioned and your understanding challenged. How? Question your beliefs by asking ‘Why?’ more often.

This is growth, and what I just shared is an example of how my consciousness and reflection helped me to become more aware of some of the forces driving my life behind the scenes.