Build Confidence By Doing Hard Things

Perhaps the thing that holds people back the most from pursuing their dreams, taking more chances, and playing a bigger game in life is a lack of self-confidence. When you lack confidence it means that you’re more hesitant, tentative, and unwilling to put yourself outside your comfort zone for fear that you’ll fail... And give yourself more reasons to feel inadequate.

When you break down the etymology of the word ‘confidence’ it’s divided into two latin roots ‘con-fidere’ which translates to “intense trust”. When you fully trust a person or process, you have confidence in them. This means that in order to have self-confidence you need to have intense trust in yourself, that you will show up, perform, and give your best when you find yourself in challenging situations.

I’ve found that in order to build that intense trust in yourself, you need to earn it. And that the best way to build confidence is by doing hard things. When you take on hard things and prove to yourself that you have what it takes to overcome them, you gain confidence.

This is something I’ve been leveraging for myself. Literally today (as I’m sharing this) I’m giving a Keynote speech. Beyond preparing relentlessly for it, I’ve also been reinforcing my own self-confidence by pushing myself in the gym. I’ve been starting every workout by turning the treadmill on faster than is comfortable and holding the pace for longer than I thought possible. And each time I do, it’s giving me more evidence that I step up to the occasion when it’s presented in front of me. I'm doing this strategically to reinforce my self-confidence, which is elevating all areas of my life, but in the short-term is being specifically directed toward delivering on this Keynote.

But there’s an extra layer to it. Beyond just supporting you with the things that are on the horizon and that you’re aware of, building confidence proactively helps you to better manage the things that come up unexpectedly. I hear Mike Posner say “we choose to do hard things so that we can do the hard things we don't’ choose.” 

Life will always present challenges, and the more prepared we are when they arrive, the better we’ll be able to manage them. So if you’re feeling short on confidence, start giving yourself reasons to be confident. And that starts with stepping outside of your comfort zone and giving yourself the opportunity to prove to yourself that you’re more capable than you thought.