A Switch To Be More Empathetic To Others

As much as we’d like to turn it off, it’s human nature to be judgmental.

In fact it’s hardwired into us evolutionarily because it helped early humans to figure out their spot in the tribe. Without proper judgment we might have been outcasted, threatening our safety and survival.

But in modern society, judgment doesn’t play quite the same role and causes us to be less friendly, less self-confident, and more unnecessarily critical of others.

To combat this, there’s a more human-centric approach I learned from Lindsey Fuller, a phenomenal nonprofit leader at 'The Teaching Well', that helps flip judgment into curiosity.

If someone acts out in an unexpected, inappropriate or insensitive way, rather than thinking “Why are they like this?”, you can ask the question “What happened to them?”

And it’s not meant to explain their flaws with a condescending tone… It’s meant to be an invitation to explore what made them who they are.

The shift in focus takes the attention away from someone’s character (Why are YOU like this?) and makes it about what they've experienced. This respectfully acknowledges the value and goodness of the self while seeking to understand its present expression of choice.

When we do this we see people as human beings first and don’t just judge their doings. We all find ourselves in situations that make us emotional, trigger unhealthy patterns, or pull us out of alignment. Recognizing the same in others helps us best support them and the uniqueness they have to offer the world.