A Story About Self-Sabotage And Cold Showers

Last week I caught myself in the middle of doing something naughty - scrolling aimlessly on social media while laying in my bed.

When I came to, I didn't even know what happened or how I got there. Obviously it wasn’t what I wanted to be doing, but there I was. Thank goodness for my Screen Time App Limits to alert me of my usage keeping me honest!

Every morning I do a form of meditation where I overview the wins and opportunities to be better from the last 24 hours. The next morning, one of the instances that came to mind as an opportunity for improvement from the previous day was my scrolling. During the meditation I took the time to understand the forces that created the behavior. Things don’t just happen on their own, something causes it, and I wanted to diagnose why.

The self-exploration led me to a realization that I was scrolling on my phone as I was transitioning from finishing a workout and getting in the shower. But as per my policy, it was a cold shower, and I realized that subconsciously my mind found a way to procrastinate so that I could avoid the inevitable. 

That’s what the mind does. In an effort to avoid discomfort, it will self-sabotage. It will employ things like procrastination, perfectionism, distraction, confusion, fear, anxiety, limiting beliefs and everything else it can do to try to redirect you away from doing that which is uncomfortable.

But consciously, I know there’s no getting around it. I choose to take cold showers because it serves me, and no matter if I step in right away or 20 minutes later, it’s going to feel the same. The procrastination doesn’t benefit me, so from the awareness I gained in meditation I committed to a new policy where right when I get home from a workout I go straight into the shower. 

The new policy was put to the test the next day. After my workout I felt myself want to distract myself from the looming cold shower, but this time I was aware of it and had the agency to choose otherwise. I got in the shower right away, endured the cold, and felt good about how fast I was transitioning through my day. In the days since I’ve had a similar intention and experienced a similar result.

I share this personal story to highlight the power of choice. We can control what happens at any given moment. We can always consciously override the unconscious pattern. And a little intention goes a long way in helping you orient your actions in the direction that most serves you.